


The Minor Fall, The Major Lift- Alternate Cut

by StainedGlassDreams



Series: Earth, Please Come In, Over [2]
Category: Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love, bucky is a selfless idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:20:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7914799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainedGlassDreams/pseuds/StainedGlassDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he doesn't think about it, he can ignore it. If he keeps walking, he can maybe lessen the blow.<br/>Deep down, he knows both are lies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Minor Fall, The Major Lift- Alternate Cut

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate version of The Minor Fall, The Major Lift :)  
> Thank you as always for reading!

It didn't really feel real.

He walked out of the hospital. Logan said something to him but he didn't hear it.

Like how you have an injury as a kid and don't feel it unless you choose to look at it.

Steve tried to stop him. He just remembers wanting to leave.

The mind, thinking if it doesn't look, it can pretend it isn't there. That there isn't a part missing.

He doesn't know how long he's been walking.

If he doesn't think about it, if he keeps in this frame of mind, he can put away that he can never say her name again.  
He can numb the knowledge, for just these few blocks, that he can never taste her lips on his.

If he keeps walking, he can ignore that he'll never feel her skin under his fingers. Her embrace.

If stops walking, it'll all come tumbling down. It'll all stop, the mind forced to look at the damage.  
If he stops, he's going to lose it.

Passes a church, the colors from the stained glass dulled but still vibrant from the interior lights.  
He remembers going as a kid. "When you're in here, you put yourself aside." His Mom told him. "You ask for what others need. And yourself, last."  
He walks inside, the feeling just as much as it was before. Sanctuary from the outside world.

There were only 3 other people scattered amongst the pughs.  
Forced himself to sit in the back, his legs still wanting to walk out of Virginia. Out of the state. Out of the planet.  
He looked down, trying to breathe.

And he asked the only thing he could. ".....You probably aren't listening anymore. ...I wouldn't blame you if you weren't." The sound of quiet and air condition reverberated off the domed ceiling. "...But I'm asking. ...Just take care of her." Smiles briefly thinking of all the times she saved him. ....How she always has. "She can take care of herself. .....Just make sure she's safe."

Because I can't. He couldn't get the words out of his mouth.  
He couldn't.

"....Thank You." He got up, leaving.

The cathedral continued it's silence behind him.  
Continued to act as sanctuary to those who deserved it.

He lost the only person who ever gave him it.  
....Why should he deserve any other?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Sol Gabetta's performance of Edward Elgar's Cello Concerto in E Minor Op. 85


End file.
